You Didn’t Save Me, You Showed Me I Could Save Myself
I was so excited to finally meet you.
I had waited my whole life to find the one who would take away all my pain; and remind me how incredibly special I am.
I thought I had found this before, but once I found you, I knew that this had never happened. No one made me feel as special and pain free like you do. You remind me that my pain does not define me if I don’t let it. You adore all the parts of me that others have cracked and broken. You view me through the best rose coloured glasses; but still have a solid grip on my own perceived flaws. You are the perfect example of what I’ve been waiting for.
Except for one thing.
You didn’t have to save me.
Instead, you reminded me that I was strong enough to save myself.
No one else has done this. Everyone else was determined to fix me quickly, because my scars made me emotional, tender and scared. They wanted to forget that I had a past, because my past interfered with their idea of a perfect me. I do not blame them for this. I wanted my past gone too. Pretending it didn’t happen was so much easier than reliving my worst memories.
The day I met you though, everything changed. You tell me that my scars are beautiful, my fear makes me wise, and you wouldn’t want me any other way than I am.
Now, this doesn’t mean you don’t push me to be better. Instead you just remind me that I’m allowed to go at my own pace. I am allowed to have sad and bad days. And I am allowed to be scared of getting hurt. All the emotions I feel are honoured and valued to you, and this makes me feel safe.
The best part of being with someone who adores your scars is that they are still there when you’re ready to advance in your progress. They do not force but they push you, they encourage and respect your pace. They remind you that you have the fight in you to be better, if that is what you want. They encourage you to be your best, because they see that best in you. They see the strength you forget you have and help you pull out every ounce of it.
You are ready to face the world, both past and present together.
It would be foolish to think that your past does not affect your current life, both positively and negatively. However, the trick to life is finding the person that adores your present, but respects your past. They have to know that you’ve been changed by things, and that it’s okay to still be experiencing ripple effects.
The joy in life is finding someone that swims in your waves, but doesn’t try to calm your waters. That is the person worth fighting for. That is the person that will warm your soul on the days that you’re shivering with uncertainty and regret. No one has the perfect life, but you can find someone who adores you because of your imperfections.
I was so excited to finally meet you.
You showed me the strength I didn’t know I was hiding. You hold my hand through the storm that is life; and through every bumpy wave you give me the paddle and hold on tight. You let me steer my own boat, while being the best support one could ask for. You show me my strength and determination. You remind me that I can do anything; and for all those amazing things, I thank you.