I used to love fashion. It was my drive. My passion.
Ever since I remember, I have always said The Devil Wears Prada is my favorite film without hesitation. But this changed once my eyes were opened to the injustice, unfairness, and greed of this industry.
About two years ago, I ended my conditional relationship with fashion. Before that, I was completely blind to the truth and the scandalous practices of most fashion companies. Those ruthless practices include convincing us to buy more so we feel better about ourselves, harming our planet, and disrespecting people—especially garment workers who work hard for very little pay so the founders and CEOs can keep growing rich.
The entire fashion industry (as well as beauty and many others) profits from people’s insecurities, unworthiness and not-enoughness, promising beauty, self-worth, and happiness. The only condition is that you purchase another dress, pair of shoes, handbag, lingerie set, piece of jewelry, or whatever it is that they made you feel you need.
And I fell for it, too. In fact, for almost my entire life, I felt that I would truly feel happier and more fulfilled if I bought more stuff.
My wardrobe was overflowing with clothes, shoes, different handbags, and despite this, I still felt I didn’t have enough. Constantly tempted by fashion adverts and fashion influencers, I continued playing the game of trends adding to my wish list. I kept wanting more.
But what I didn’t realize at the time was that I was trying to fill the void inside me. The emptiness created by social conditioning made me believe that I needed to seek outside of myself to feel good enough, so I could feel worthy.
Until last year, it hadn’t even crossed my mind that I simply didn’t accept myself for the way I was. I kept consuming unconsciously because I was running away from facing the truth.
Outside, the world began to slow down, and this welcome time forced me to go within and seek the answers there. I could no longer carry on living the same way. Deep down, I was miserable, and I knew I needed to change, but I was so fucking tired. I was tired of constantly trying to be and look perfect, seeking validation, keeping my guard up, hiding my emotions, wearing different masks to please people, and suppressing my truth as a result.
I didn’t want to show my true self to the world because I was afraid of being rejected, laughed at, and ridiculed.
Just like in childhood and in my teenage years when I happened to experience bullying for the way I looked. Overweight. Wearing glasses. Bushy and unruly hair.
I considered myself ugly. And because our reality is a mirror of what is going with us internally, I kept getting confirmations of how I felt about myself from the outside. I never received the love, acceptance, and appreciation I craved for.
But slowing my life down, time alone, countless walks in nature, and everyday meditation naturally led me to self-reflection.
I understood that the acceptance, love, and appreciation that I was seeking on the outside, I should give to myself first.
I realized that without learning to love myself unconditionally, I would forever be prone to conforming to the rules that society sets for us.
It has been more than a year since I stepped onto a self-study, self-discovery, and self-love journey. As I carry on walking this path, every day, I find another mask that I strip myself of. I try my best to do it lovingly and patiently as I know those layers were formed by my subconscious mind to protect me from the outside world.
If my words resonate with you, I encourage you to do the inner work, too. Get quiet, and look within. Begin transforming your self-worth, creating unshakeable confidence in yourself, and opening yourself up to the countless possibilities and abundance you deserve.
Understand that you are already WHOLE and COMPLETE the way you are. The world has simply made you forget.
But I’m here to remind you of the greatness and infinite potential that lies within you.
You just need to open yourself up to it and claim it.
You’ve got everything you need within you. Don’t let anybody tell you otherwise.