This Is Me Setting You Free From A Lie You Told Both Of Us
The night stood still, the stars shimmering with hope and the clouds floating around like waves in slow motion.
The sky painted a dark navy blue gradually changes into hues of blue, purple, pink; and before I know it, the light exploded in my eyes as the sun rose.
I am not sure how long I stayed staring at the night fading into the day, but then again, the air has been filled with uncertainty; and for the first time, I’m okay with this fear.
Her hair swirled around my fingers, her gentle scent filling my lungs, her voice as hesitant as a child who’s still learning to speak, her eyes—they say things that words fail to describe.
Arms wrapped around my neck, I still cannot understand how someone can make me feel so safe and yet utterly terrified all the same.
Turning back time to the moment my eyes met hers, I knew then nothing would be the same; and I knew she would bring on waves of emotions I’ve never felt before. Low and behold, my heart sunk to the pits of my stomach. My heart sinks like an anchor every time her eyes fixated on mine.
I find myself often wondering, why must we have an explanation for things. Why do we need to have a purpose or a reason. Why does it matter if we keep labelling things and constricting our notions of perfection.
For that moment, as painful as it was, as painful as it shouldn’t have been, as difficult as it could have ever been, felt perfect.
I can name a hundred reasons to need to run away, but I can think of a hundred more to want to stay.
The storm she brings, the peace she holds.
But every story has an ending, and I chose to set myself free of expectations and needs. I decided to set her free of a lie she was telling both of us.