There is something about a dark sky that fills the air with our most intrusive thoughts.
I used to dread the moment the sun would set because with every setting motion, night time was slowly approaching. It wasn’t the dark I was afraid of; but the thoughts that lingered in the shadows that haunted me.
It took me quite a few years to master the entities that had a hold on my mind. It was always just me and my thoughts. They were the only company I knew how to keep. I would open my window every night to let the comfort of the moonlight in, and anticipate all the phases of it. A quiet night was impossible, because the thoughts sparking around the room were always so deafening.
Finding my way out of the dark was almost impossible. I was walking through a never ending maze that continued for years.
We each have our own maze to find our way out of. The maze that leads us through every step of our lives. It takes us through the place we started and leads us to where it all ends. It’s our brain and all the pathways in it. The only maze that will vividly show us the place we played as a child, the first heartbreak we ever had, and how we continue to blossom into the women we are meant to become. It’s the part of us that helps us navigate our way through life. It’s the sacred place that holds the most precious memories and the most dreadful thoughts.
The never ending maze that allows the thoughts to swiftly travel through.
There was a night where I finally reached my breaking point. I couldn’t stand the thoughts sparking around the room anymore and I realized that this was the feeling I needed to have. This was the feeling one needs to have to evolve and change.
There was an emptiness inside of me that dimmed my ambition for too long, I was a new moon, unseen fading into the night sky. So I began my new phase, the one that would transition me into a full moon, that radiated instead. I promised myself I would shine through for those still lost in the dark. There would no longer be a dimness inside me, even on the darkest of nights.
We will all reach the breaking point that inspires growth. The thoughts you dread at night are like the sparklers you hold in your hand on the fourth of July. They ignite in the dark and give you a sense of excitement; a tiny little thrill and a sparkle in your eyes. You could never enjoy those sparks without the darkness surrounding you. You could never see them dancing playfully around without it. They could never be as beautiful in daylight.
Sometimes you need the darkness to see clearly.
The daylight holds the promise of a new day, but ironically, it’s the importance of the dark that sheds light for you to begin it. You could stay in the dark with the shadows that take hold of you, or you could listen to them, welcome them and channel them. You could live in the thoughts of yesterday, or learn from them to make a better day for today.
I hope that even on the most hopeless of days you remind yourself that no one could ever admire the beauty of the moon without the darkest of skies anyway.