You might have heard of the divine feminine or divine feminine energy (sometimes known as yin energy), but have you ever come across the term dark feminine energy?
The divine feminine has been shunned for centuries. Still, she is slowly rising worldwide. Both women and men must embrace the full magnitude of the feminine, within and without, if we want to restore harmony to ourselves and the wider collective.
We live in a world of duality, which means there is always a light side and a dark side to everything. Feminine and masculine energy is no different (and another example of duality). There is a light side and a dark side to the feminine, and dark feminine energy is, you guessed it, the dark side. It’s easy to confuse the terms light and dark with good and bad, especially if you’ve ever seen Star Wars, but this is not the case. We all have a light and dark side, and we need both of these aspects for balance.
There cannot be creation without destruction. We cannot experience success without failure. There cannot be birth without death. The light and dark aspects of the feminine work together to create wholeness, and this is how we as women can access our true power.
What is dark feminine energy?
The dark feminine is one-half of the divine feminine. She is not the negative, shadow aspect of the feminine but rather the dark, fiery, transformational aspect of womanhood. The birth, death, and rebirth cycle is at the center of our story as women and at the center of mother earth.
Celebrities such as Rhianna, Beyoncé, and Angelina Jolie are all great examples of women who have tapped into their dark feminine energy and channeled it in their art and self-expression.
A note on femininity
Are you the type of woman who is often more in her masculine than her feminine? This may have presented itself in how you dress, the company you keep, your hobbies, and even your attitude when you show up at work or in romantic relationships.
You might be wondering how to be more feminine, or you might be distancing yourself from femininity as much as you can because of your beliefs about what it means to be feminine.
Femininity and feminine energy often have negative and weak connotations because of how the patriarchy has shallowly defined femininity over the years. But this definition of femininity—fragile, passive, gentle, overly-receptive, obedient, quiet, a sexual object of desire, submitting to the masculine—is actually toxic femininity. This is not a true representation of the feminine.
Uncovering the divine feminine in all her glory and reuniting with key feminine aspects repressed over the years is fundamental to women (and men) rising and progressing as a more equal and harmonious society.
Dark vs. light feminine energy
Light feminine energy traits
Dark feminine energy traits
I want to point out that there is an empowered way to channel your dark feminine energy, and there is also a way to do it that will disempower you.
Here are some examples of what disempowered dark feminine energy looks like in practice:
- Being over-dramatic
- Lack of confidence and self-worth
- Struggling to assert boundaries
- Manipulating others rather than speaking your truth
- Having sex even when it doesn’t feel in alignment with your highest self
- Faking an orgasm during sex
We’ll explore how to tap into dark feminine energy in an empowering way a little further on in this article.
Why was dark feminine energy repressed?
The light side of the feminine has been rising for some time. Although there is much resistance to her, she is welcomed much more warmly than the dark feminine.
Because the patriarchy (along with modern religion) has done a brilliant job of convincing us that dark feminine energy is “bad” and “evil” and “sinful.”
Female pleasure for pleasure’s sake rather than procreation?
Speaking your truth?
Bleeding each month?
Women being independent, sovereign beings?
Nope, not allowed.
Being single and choosing not to get married?
There’s something wrong with you.
Women have been associated with the dark since the beginning of time. Women rule the night and the moon, while men rule the day and the sun. But somewhere along the way, the dark became something to fear and avoid. Women, particularly practicing witches, became something to fear.
Because they could not be controlled. Because they were fucking powerful beings, and they were a severe threat to the patriarchal structures being built.
So women have learned to reject the darkness, their moon cycle, witchcraft, and dark feminine energy. But shunning and repressing the dark feminine within us and our world has disconnected us from our power and each other.
During matriarchal society, both sides of the feminine were very much present and revered. Gradually, dark feminine energy became distorted as matriarchy fell and was overtaken by patriarchy. If we want to reclaim this dark side of ourselves, we must let go of any propaganda and limiting beliefs we’ve inherited and be open to welcoming her back into our lives.
Why do we need dark divine feminine energy?
For so many reasons!
As women, we are often taught to bury our anger, our true sexual desire, and our power because it’s not “ladylike.” We’re taught that our worth and value are tied to how sexually attractive we are to men. We’re taught that we exist here to support the men in our lives and produce and raise children at the cost of our desires.
Similarly, men are taught to marry women who have shunned their dark feminine because they’re “safer.” But this only leads to both women and men desiring to explore that “dark” side of themselves but feeling shame over doing so. Men who repress their dark masculine will often cheat on their partners in pursuit of the dark feminine, whether with a woman in touch with her dark side or a stripper or prostitute (although the majority of those working in the sex industry are embracing a disempowering version of the dark feminine as they are there for the money rather than because they enjoy the work they do).
The dark feminine is our key to letting go of anything that no longer serves us, plunging into the unknown, reconnecting with our inner strength and power, feeling at home in our bodies and our sexual energy, accessing creativity, strengthening our boundaries and needs and knowing how to communicate them without guilt. This is how we go from being a victim to an alchemist.
How to tap into your dark feminine energy in 14 healthy ways
1. Reconnect with the magic of your sacred cycle
Your menstrual cycle and periods, in general, are dripping in taboo because the patriarchy wanted to disconnect women from their power source. Your sacred cycle is one of your greatest powers as a woman, so if you haven’t yet formed a healthy relationship with it, there’s no time like now.
Menstrual blood is sacred. Your cycle connects you to the earth, the seasons, the feminine archetypes, the moon, and the bridge between the worlds. It is the birth, death, and rebirth cycle happening within you every month. In ancient times, women came together to bleed and honor the moon, and their menstrual blood was used in ceremonies in temples. Isn’t it insane that menstruating women today are banned from entering sacred temples when their blood used to be worshipped at these sites?
Check out this article if you want to learn more about your sacred cycle:
2. Meet wild woman
The menstrual cycle is split into four main phases, or seasons as I call them, and each phase is linked to one of nature’s seasons, a moon phase, and an archetype.
Spring (the follicular phase) and summer (ovulation) are seen as the light side of the feminine. In contrast, autumn (the luteal phase) and winter (menstruation) are linked to dark feminine energy.
During the Autumn season, your energy levels start to drop in preparation for the bleeding phase. The archetype linked to this season is Wild Woman (sometimes known as Medicine Woman or The Enchantress or The Witch).
It’s in this phase that a lot of women experience PMS and PMT.
Because we are taught to bury our emotions (particularly rage), pretend we’re fine, and “soldier” on. And it’s when we suppress these emotions that we experience pain, frustration, shame, and overwhelm. Because whatever lurks in our shadows unconfronted will control us. Feeling into our pain and addressing the root of it is how we break this vicious cycle. By embracing our inner wild woman, and our rainbow of emotions, we can understand what lies beneath our pain and start to heal those wounds.
Learn more about the four archetypes here:
3. Follow the path of the dark Goddess
The Goddesses Kali, Isis, Lakshmi, and Lilith are associated with and express the dark feminine. Connecting with these Goddesses and their powers can help us reconnect with our dark feminine energy.
For example, Lilith embodies uncensored, unapologetic, untamed sexual energy and primal life force. She is at one with pleasure and desire and this dark side of the feminine. She helps us recognize the patriarchal power plays at work, illuminate our shadows, and find our way back to our true nature—and this is liberation and freedom.
Get to know these dark Goddesses more intimately, and call on them when you meditate or seek divine guidance.
4. Be with mother nature
Dark feminine energy can be found in the literal earth beneath our feet. This is where death, decay, and rebirth happen every day. It’s a place of alchemy and magic.
Women are deeply connected to nature because she is us. We are a mirror of her sacred cycle: the four seasons, the moon cycle, the elements, and the constant evolution.
So be with her. Plant your bare feet on the earth, bathe in the ocean, drink in the air, and immerse yourself in nature’s wonders. Physically connecting to nature will help you connect to the dark feminine.
I have said it before, and I’ll say it again—writing is a powerful tool for us all, particularly women. It allows us to meet and illuminate all our thoughts and emotions. You can use journal prompts to help you get started or focus on a question or obstacle lingering in your mind for a while. Let yourself write without censoring.
Even when you feel stuck or unsure what to write, keep writing! Let everything bubble up to the surface. You may be surprised by what comes up.
6. Practice self-love
If you want to learn how to embrace dark feminine energy, you’ve got to begin with a foundation of deep love and acceptance for yourself. To love yourself and show yourself love, means many things.
Accepting yourself exactly as you are today (while striving to become the woman you aspire to be), making peace with your past and your flaws, letting go of anything that feels heavy (including toxic relationships), giving your body what it craves most, taking rest when you need it, adorning yourself in clothes colors and jewelry that make you feel most sensual and alive.
These are just a few of the ways we can practice self-love. For more ideas, check out this article:
7. Heal the feminine wound
Most of us carry deep feminine wounds, ancestral and present, rooted in the witch hunts. Women were forced to turn on each other out of fear for their safety. And this was the plan all along. To break up communities of women and the powerful bond of the feminine and isolate them. We can still see the effects of this today in the way that we distrust other women and stab each other in the back out of fear and scarcity.
But if we want to embrace dark feminine energy and divine feminine energy as a whole, we must heal this feminine wound. So take a look around you. How do you show up in your relationships with women, whether it’s family, friends, or community?
8. Invite the esoteric in
Along with the rise of patriarchy came the rise of logic, and with the fall of the matriarchy came the shunning of intuition, creativity, and esoteric practices such as astrology, tarot, and spellwork. It’s valuing the masculine over the feminine, which is very much ingrained in our society today.
During the witch hunts, it became illegal to engage in many of these practices. To do so would mean you were labeled a witch, which is why there is still a certain degree of danger and fear associated with these.
Reclaiming these esoteric, witchy practices helps you deepen your intuition and reclaim the dark feminine that was suppressed all those years ago. Explore your birth chart, buy yourself a set of beautiful oracle cards, or set up a sacred altar for spellwork and ritual.
9. Have a dark moon ritual
The dark moon phase occurs in the two to three days right before there’s a new moon. The whole sky goes dark, and the moon is completely invisible to us in the sky (of course, she is still there).
This dark moon phase is linked to the dark feminine. Use this time to connect to her by creating your own ritual, journaling, meeting your shadow self, and releasing anything you do not want to bring with you into the new cycle.
10. Meet your shadows
Your shadow side is also known as your subconscious. This is where we bury thoughts, emotions, desires, trauma, shame, and wounds that we don’t want to face or don’t even realize are present.
Shadow work refers to doing the inner work to meet and heal all of these wounds.
There is a common misconception that the dark feminine is the shadow, but this is not true. Dark feminine energy helps us transform our shadows into deep wisdom and growth.
If you want to learn more about shadow work, check out this article:
11. Honor the sacredness of sex
I’ve always viewed sex as sacred. Not in a religious way (I’m not religious), but in a spiritual sense. I find it difficult to even entertain the idea of having sex with someone I don’t intimately know. Plus, for me, a huge part of attraction comes from a man’s personality—his mind, his emotional intelligence, his kindness, his ambition, his dreams, etc.
Not too long ago, we went through a weird phase where as women, we were convinced that casual sex was our ticket to empowerment and gaining equality with men. But this was total bullshit and had the opposite effect. Because sex by nature is an intimate act. And even if your intentions are to keep things casual and no-strings, it’s very difficult to do this in practice.
There’s also this concept that when two people have sex, they don’t just physically become intertwined but energetically bound.
12. Be with the dark masculine
A man standing in his dark masculine energy will ignite the dark feminine with us. So one of the best ways to access dark feminine energy is to be with a man who has embraced his dark masculinity. This will show up in his ability to meet and express his emotions and sexual desires while remaining completely in control of them. With him, you will feel safe and free of judgment to explore your own darkness.
Meditation is a peaceful practice and powerful tool to unite our mind, body, and soul, feel grounded, and tune into our shadows. Create space to sit in stillness for five minutes each day and let all your thoughts and emotions wash over you. Remember, meditation is not about emptying the mind—it will never be empty—it’s about bringing awareness to your thoughts and recognizing that they are not you. You are the witness.
14. Open your heart
And the final way to tap into your dark feminine energy and reclaim your feminine power is to practice being open with yourself and others. Opening our hearts this way requires a great deal of courage, forgiveness, and vulnerability, which is challenging for us all, particularly if we’ve suffered previous wounds still lingering in our shadows.
But just like the act of forgiveness, opening your heart is not for other people; it’s for you. When you live your life wide open in this way, you bring peace into your world, establish more authentic connections, and enjoy your full radiance.
Are you ready to embrace your dark feminine energy?
I hope this article has shown you there is much more to femininity and feminine energy than we have been taught. And when we channel the whole spectrum of the inner feminine, we can live a more whole, passionate, and fulfilling life!
Dark feminine energy is nothing to be afraid of (unless you’re a shallow man stuck in toxic masculinity and not ready to feel the full, magnetic force of the sacred feminine). So step into the darkness, explore, and rewrite your definition of what it means to be a woman in this lifetime.