Don’t Take Me Back, I’m Too Selfish Now
Don’t take me back.
I don’t remember much, just how being here now is so much better. Don’t take me back.
I don’t want to tell you too much, just enough, maybe so you won’t go back.
Remember that time when things seemed really deep and dark? Times when you felt like you were falling apart. I remember how I couldn’t even think another way, let alone be another way.
Don’t take me back.
Is it something that’s embed in us? Why do we keep answering their call? They only want to take away some energy. Why can’t we just ignore it and be ok with it? Yet we go running, travel the world if we had to.
Maybe I guess it’s the idea of seeing that smile or knowing you just helped give relief to someone, someone you love, maybe. Saying that, it doesn’t mater; even a stranger on the streets asking for directions would get my whole. I’d be so fully committed to that moment, making sure I just don’t let them down.
Maybe that’s it. Maybe letting people down is what kept me in trying to bring them back up?
Either way, what does it really do for me?
Fair to say I’m just about learning about my own ways; what I love and what I want. I don’t think I’ve ever been able to ask myself these questions properly when things seemed dark. The answers would always be, you’re being selfish.
Sounds like an ugly word to some. Others throw it at you, and make you feel like you’ve done something wrong. So why would you even think to continue, to even think the idea of being selfish is ok?
Well, it is. It is the best word for the love you need.
If you can drown out everyone else’s voice and say it.
I am selfish. I am selfish to give myself love. I am selfish to put myself first. I am selfish to talk about me. I am selfish to want for me. I am selfish to dream and believe. I am selfish and I love everything about me.
It feels so good.
I just stepped into me and started living my own life, in my own world.
The best part is that’s the world I can control. The world I can create only beauty and love and freedom and choices. Everything must honour me.
It really is a great place to be selfish. Because I have to love me. Love me first, who else will, Prince Charming? Well we know even from movies, how selfish men can be, how happy they seem for it. So why would I wait for him, or anyone else for that matter, to turn my life around?
I am finally ready to bring myself peace and make that change to step into me.
If I don’t, they will always see me as an empty vessel they can fill up with darkness; their darkness. I have to let my own inner light shine.
I’m excited to learn about what I want to do, where I want to go, how I want to be.
It can’t be that bad if I can sit here and smile at the warmness within me. You know, the part of you that still has belief in a beautiful world, the one you must create.
Don’t take me back.