It took me many years to learn how to live a more authentic life.
A life where I’m standing fully in my power, and walking my soul path. A life where I allow who I really am in my heart to shine through; whether I’m with my closest friends, or total strangers in the street. A life where I give myself permission to be me, regardless of how daunting that is, or what others have to say about it.
How many of us can truly say we’re living an authentic life?
Authenticity can be wildly uncomfortable, especially if you’ve been wearing a mask for so long.
Our school days teach the majority of us that fitting in is good, and standing out is bad. And it’s difficult to let go of those ingrained beliefs; even more so if you were bullied or outcast for being yourself.
But all our beliefs can be un-learned, or replaced with new ones; with beliefs that empower and support us in being who we came here to be.
And, and although it won’t be easy, when you do push past your initial fear and discomfort, what you’ll find waiting for you is freedom, liberation, and truth.
The connections you make will be genuine. The choices you make will feel aligned. And your heart will be wide open.
This is the beauty of living an authentic life. And it’s available to all of us, today.
Here’s how to live a more authentic life in 5 steps
1. Which of your beliefs are actually yours?
As children, we often take on the beliefs of the people we spend the most time with, without even realising it. Usually, that’s our parents, our siblings, and our closest friends.
And we can end up living our entire lives carrying around these beliefs, without questioning them.
How many of your current beliefs are actually yours?
Where did your beliefs originate from?
And do they align with, and support you? Or do they keep you living and playing small?
Because you don’t have to keep any of them. They are not your identity. It’s okay to let go of anything that doesn’t support the woman you aspire to be, or are becoming.
When I left home at 18 for university, I was finally in control of my life, including what I ate. So I decided to become a vegetarian, despite growing up in a meat-eating household. And I’ve remained vegetarian for the past 12 years. I feel healthier for it, and better about how I’m treating other living beings on the planet.
I invite you to let go of any inherited beliefs today.
2. Where (and why) are you hiding who you really are?
The reason so many of us hide our true colours, is because we’ve learned it’s not safe to display them.
Maybe you were bullied at school when you were younger. Maybe you have struggled to fit in and find a sense of belonging your entire life. Or maybe it was your parents or a partner who wanted you to be someone you’re not.
Whatever happened, there’s a strong chance you learned to hide who you really are from the world, and maybe even from yourself. And every time you went against this, you were rejected, scolded, or ridiculed.
Is it the clothes you like to wear, the hobbies you’re interested in, your sexuality, or the career you dream of having.
Where are you hiding, and why?
Because you’re older now. There’s no one telling you what to do, or who to be; and even if there is, you don’t have to listen to them.
3. What are your gifts?
We are all born with an array of gifts or superpowers, which are unique to us. There are no good or bad ones, none better or worse. All our gifts are different, yet valuable.
And in our gifts, we can glimpse a clearer picture of the person we are in our heart.
I’ve always been a fairly quiet person, who only speaks when she has something she really wants to say. I love listening, and I’m good at it. But I always wished I was one of the louder ones at school. The ones who made other people laugh, the ones who always said what they were thinking, and the ones who everybody else knew and loved.
But that wasn’t me. It took me many years to realise I will never be loud, or extroverted, and that’s beautiful. My gift of being a strong, compassionate listener led me to mentor and coach other women in my sacred work. And I love that. I’m great at it.
What are your gifts?
Spend time discovering them, and learning to embrace them. They were given to you for a reason. And this is one of the secrets in how to live a more authentic life.
4. How can you walk the path of your soul?
You are here in this lifetime for a reason. Whether it’s to help someone, or build something, or change something.
Your only mission is to figure out what you came here to do, and to devote your life to doing it. This is what it means to walk your soul path.
You may already know what that looks like for you, or perhaps you’re struggling to figure it out. It doesn’t matter, just as long as you keep pursuing it. Whether you keep doing what you already know you love, or you keep trying new things until you find what sets your soul on fire.
Think about how you can do this.
Do you need to give yourself permission to quit your job, and start that business you’ve always dreamed of?
Do you need to give yourself permission to take a year out, and go see the world and try lots of new things?
Or do you need to give yourself permission to leave a person, or a relationship that is no longer serving or supporting you?
Remember, this is your life. So live it for you, on your own terms. You are not here to please anybody else.
5. Tune into & trust your intuition
We always know when something isn’t right. We can sense it, we can feel it.
Our intuition shows up for us in different ways.
When I was working as a fashion designer, I knew something was off. As time went on, I became more frustrated and unfulfilled. That little voice in my heart continued to get louder, until it was almost bellowing in my ears.
You need to leave.
You need to get out of here.
This is not for you any more.
And that voice didn’t go away until I finally found the courage to listen.
I quit my job to become a freelance writer. And over the past four years, I’ve written books, travelled the world, and started my own business (this one you found your way to here).
I’ve never been happier. I’m finally living an authentic life, that aligns with my soul and my gifts.
And I continue to tune into and trust my intuition every day. For making small decisions, like what I should eat for breakfast this morning; and bigger ones, like what I should focus on creating in my business this year.
Our intuition is linked to our authenticity. When we’re ignoring our intuition, or going against it, we’re usually living inauthentically. So pay attention to those feelings, those signs, and knowings.
This is how to live a more authentic life.