You are not selfish for making yourself a priority.
Why do we, as women, believe that it is selfish to put our own wants and needs first?
Yes, many of us have children we are responsible for nurturing. We have family and friends who want some of our time and attention. A home that needs looking after. We have a job that demands most of our energy, for at least five days each week.
And once we’ve taken care of all of the above, there’s little time or energy left for what we want. Our desires.
Journaling for ten minutes, doing some yoga, going to the gym, taking an art class, planting herbs and seeds in our garden, soaking in a bath, working on a side hustle, taking an online course, going for a walk, sitting and meditating in stillness for a while.
The list goes on.
I don’t know what it is your heart desires most. What I do know is that you deserve to give yourself that gift. Not only do you deserve it, but you need it, too.
We need to spend time doing things that fill our cup, and allow our creative energy to move through us. We need to experience the joy of re-connecting with ourselves, and deepening our relationship with self. And we need to reinforce the belief that we matter; our needs matter, because they do.
There’s no better way to reaffirm this belief to yourself than by acting on it.
Creating space for yourself. Giving yourself the time you need. Honouring your deepest desires. And showing yourself love and care, on every level of your being.
Because when we don’t do this for ourselves; when we ignore our wants and allow our needs to fall to the bottom of a never-ending list, we suffer.
And this can show up in many different ways.
Frustration, anger, exhaustion, resentment, depression, low self-esteem and self-worth, and even loss of self.
Feelings that are not inherently bad, but cannot be worked through or healed until you make a conscious shift in your day to day life.
When we give ourselves the space, time, and attention we need, our world benefits.
Our cup is full, and we can give to those around us from a place of abundance, instead of lack. Resentment falls away, and we can create healthier, stronger connections with the people around us. Connections that serve and support both of us, and feel in balance. And we find our way back to harmony; with all areas of our life feeling in flow.
You are not selfish for making yourself a priority. In fact, your world, and the greater collective, asks that you do.
So I invite you to release any feelings of guilt you have collected over time. Any feelings of being a bad mother, a shitty friend, or someone who’s not a team player.
Giving our energy to the people around us is a beautiful thing, and it’s necessary for those seeds to grow. But the extent to which we give, must always be equal to what we’re receiving; whether that’s from others, or from ourselves.
There must be balance; there is meant to be balance.
So if you ever feel overworked, or unappreciated, or uninspired, there’s a strong chance you’re out of balance. And for women, there’s an even stronger chance it’s because you’re not putting yourself first—enough, or at all.
You are not selfish for making yourself a priority. And I hope that you do.