Expectations hang heavy around our necks from when we are born to when we die. They guide our decisions and often shape the person we become.
Questions are flung at us as we grow.
What will you be when you get older?
What are you going to study at university?
When will you get married?
When will you have children?
The questions are asked but the answers are not valued. The only thing they want to hear is what society views as acceptable.
Giving no answer, or worse, the wrong answer only results in confusion and glazed eyes.
What do you mean you, “don’t know?”
What do you mean you, “don’t want children?“
Looked down on as if we are a strange creature disguised as a human. We parade around in our unsureness in a way that makes the conformed uncomfortable. Very rarely are we asked the questions that count. The questions that could save us.
Are you okay?
Do you need help?
What can I do?
The problem isn’t always in the questions themselves. Sometimes they are asked out of genuine curiosity. But the problem is always in what is expected of us.
For example, women who don’t want children are made to feel ashamed of that, as if the survival of humanity lies solely on their shoulders. When men decide to remain bachelors they are glorified; when it is a woman, they become spinsters with a tragic backstory.
Those unsure about what they want to do in life feel like they are behind everyone else. When they can’t keep up on social media, they decide to not keep up at all.
Some will break under the pressure and do what is expected. Some just give up and let each day pass them. And some decide a more permanent end to their story.
But there is beauty in not knowing, and embracing each day like a blank canvas.
Throw their doubts and fears off and let life guide you; because past the judgement and expectations is the life destined for you.