No Matter How Much You Lose, Trust That You Deserve More
I found that person who makes me feel whole.
The one who calms every storm inside you.
When you catch yourself just so happy and content, it’s hard to get mad or frustrated.
When you sleep peacefully and wake up excited for the day.
I found that person.
The person who makes you believe life truly is worth living every single day.
Someone who makes you want to put your phone down and hardly ever pick it up.
The breath of fresh air with the crispest feel.
I found them.
Everything I found in them, I also was for them.
Or so I thought.
Well, or so they told me.
“My heart has been yours for so long, KJ.”
But I guess that just isn’t enough, or maybe it’s too much?
I don’t know. Regardless it didn’t work.
No matter how many times they proclaimed they loved me. No matter how many times they told the world they wanted to marry me. To never spend another second of their life without me.
It still didn’t work.
And it wasn’t me. I’m not even sure it was them.
Was it timing?
Was it someone else?
Was it fear?
Guess I’ll never know. Thankfully it doesn’t matter.
It doesn’t matter if you ever get over it or not. Time doesn’t stop, and the world doesn’t slow down for you. The universe continues to throw things at you whether you’re ready for it or not.
But that brings the beauty in healing.
Because no matter what you lose, there’s still more to come. It may not always come as quickly as you want, but it will come as quickly as you actually need.
Most of the time, you won’t even know what “it” is that you need. That’s even more beautiful, when what you need gravitates towards you naturally.
I’m more used to loss than I am gain, but honestly, I’m not complaining. I’ve learned to be at peace with being alone.
So when someone does come along with intentions to stay, maybe I can believe them and enjoy them.
Because I, without a shadow of a doubt, know I will always be okay alone.
And if that person doesn’t happen to come along, I’ll be here.
I’ll be content. I’ll be succeeding in my career. I’ll be writing. I’ll be expressing self-care. I’ll be a mother. I’ll be a friend. I’ll be me.
I’m worthy, and I am so deserving. I trust the universe will take care of me.
I trust my gut. I trust my heart. I trust me.