How To Stop Being A Yes Woman And Start Saying No
I admit I used to be a serial yes woman.
I would always say yes to engagements, situations, interviews, dinners, and work I was not always happy to engage in.
Eventually, I decided my life was not fulfilling me in the way I desired.
I realized that I was a too-good woman. I would say yes when really I meant no. I would take on all of the chores, tasks, agendas, and workloads for others.
In our current culture, we are taught to think we have to be super-women. To give and over-extend ourselves in every direction. To produce, be creative, be good lovers, mothers, care-takers, all while having a positive and enthusiastic attitude.
In a “yes” society, it is okay to say no. You do not need to follow the norms, the rules, or another’s ideals for your life.
You do not need social media.
You do not need to run errands for the entire family.
You do not need to have it all together.
You do not need to give specifics.
You do not need to pick-up after others.
You do not need to over-extend and over-work yourself.
Unless, of course, those things fulfill you.
There is much joy in saying no.
Here are 11 mantras for people who want to add more no’s into their life:
I’m taking a break from social media right now.
I’m simplifying my schedule.
I’m unplugging today/ this weekend/ the next year.
The best thing I can give you is my complete undivided attention. When I am able to do that, I will.
Right now, I need to rest.
Please can you do that for me?
I don’t feel this would be in my best interest right now.
You’ve got this.
My plate is more than full.
I’m keeping space in my schedule.
No.
Allowing other people’s opinion’s to matter more than your own will always sway you from your truth.
The reality is, we have such a short amount of time on earth. Do you want to fill it with things that overwhelm you, exhaust you, and annoy you?
There is so much room for ease and grace on the simpler, sweeter path. If you feel like you do not know what that looks like, now may be a good time to start to de-clutter and de-tangle yourself from the things that leave you feeling less than brilliant.
There is no reward for over-giving, and even if there was, would you want it?
In honor of being alive, do we not owe it to ourselves (and maybe to the divine) to live our lives with space and joyous yes’s.