Have you ever wondered what the best way is to deal with rejection?
We’ve all been there.
One of the popular girls at school throws a huge party, and you don’t get an invite.
A guy tells us he thinks we’re better off as friends.
You go for a job interview, then receive an email a week later saying, “We regret to inform you that you haven’t been successful on this occasion.”
Rejection doesn’t feel good. But the way we choose to view and process it can transform it from being no more than a painful memory, into a valuable lesson or an opportunity for growth.
Here’s how to deal with rejection, pick yourself back up, and keep going.
1. Successful women feel and face their emotions
When you get rejected, it’s normal to feel deflated, disappointed, sad, and/or embarrassed. Things didn’t work out like you hoped they would, and that can be painful.
But don’t pretend like it didn’t happen, that you’re not bothered, or bury those emotions so you don’t have to deal with them. This will only drag out your pain, and you’ll continue to feel it until you face what happened head-on.
Successful women remind themselves that rejection happens to us all, and is a part of life. You can’t (and won’t) always get what you want.
And they’re not afraid to meet those uncomfortable emotions, because they know they must process them to move on.
2. They’re kind to themselves
Many of us default to criticising ourselves when we experience failure, and our inner mean girl gets her time to shine.
“Why did you ever think you had a chance with him?”
“You’re so stupid for thinking you could get that job.”
“You were given your shot, and you blew it. Nice one.”
When you’ve been rejected, you already feel low. And playing this game will only keep you down, and focusing on the negatives.
Successful women know how to deal with rejection, because they’re always kind and compassionate to themselves.
They replace any limiting thought with an empowering one. They speak lovingly to themselves, like a friend would. And they make a point of deepening their self-love and care practice in the days that follow.
3. How to deal with rejection: accept what is out of your control
Some of us think we can (and try to) control everything in life. But successful women know that there are certain things that will always be out of their control, which they cannot change.
Maybe that job interview went really well and you thought for sure they would offer you the job. But there was just someone more suited to the role, with a little more experience than you.
Maybe you had crazy chemistry with that guy you went on a few dates with, and he did really like you. But deep down, he just wasn’t ready or looking to commit to anything serious.
You are only responsible for your part—your skills, your energy, and your experience—and the rest is completely out of your control.
So do all you can when it comes to what you can control, and let go of what you can’t.
4. They recognise rejection is a part of growth
If you never put yourself out there, and stay firmly in your comfort zone, you can protect yourself from rejection. But in doing so, you’ll resign yourself to living a half life.
Successful women know and understand that when you live life to the fullest; when you take chances, create opportunities, and really go for it, you expect to be met with rejection sometimes.
But with this rejection comes growth. You embraced discomfort, and you pushed past your self-imposed limits. This is what life is all about. Because if you’re not growing, you’re only dying.
5. They learn a valuable lesson from the experience
I believe everything that happens to us in life is either a blessing, or a lesson; and even the blessings usually have a lesson in there somewhere.
So the next time you get rejected, ask yourself what the lesson is. What can you learn from this experience?
Because this is another opportunity for growth. You learn, you get better, and you become wiser.
If you were rejected for a job you wanted, did you do the very best you could, and give all you had to give? If the answer is no, what can you do better next time? And if the answer is yes, then perhaps this is a sign this opportunity wasn’t meant for you right now.
If a person rejected you, can you say hand on heart that you were true to yourself? If you weren’t, then perhaps you need to spend some more time getting comfortable with who you are, and embracing that woman.
Rejection is a great teacher.
6. They remind themselves of their strengths & gifts
It can be challenging to deal with rejection, because our confidence often takes a knock. Which is why, more than ever, you need to focus on your strengths.
Feel your emotions, but don’t dwell on them or get caught up in a bubble of negative energy.
I love making a list of all the things I love about myself, all the things I’m proud of, and all the things I have to celebrate in my life. When I’m done, I read it back to myself, to remind myself of all my gifts, and all that’s good in my life.
Keep this list and revisit it every time you need a gentle reminder of everything you have to offer this world.
7. They remember that being rejected shows courage and self-belief to put yourself out there
I think it was Michael Jordan who popularised this quote by Wayne Gretzky: “You miss one hundred percent of the shots you don’t take.”
And this is a brilliant metaphor for rejection.
If you don’t try, you’ll save yourself from having to deal with rejection, but you also won’t gain anything. By not taking a shot, you’re not giving anyone a chance to give you that yes. You automatically stunt your growth, and keep yourself living and playing small.
All successful women know it requires courage, self-belief, and inner strength to put yourself out there and go for something. Getting to this place, regardless of the outcome, is a challenge in itself.
So whether you asked that person out, joined a dating app, applied for your dream job, asked for a pay rise, or tried to win a new client for your business; remember what it took for you to do that. The act of doing any of those things is a success in its own right, regardless of the outcome.
Keep taking those shots. Some of them are bound to go in.
8. They aren’t afraid to try again
Successful women know the best way to deal with rejection is to make peace with it, because you’ll meet it time and again in the future.
And they don’t let being rejected keep them from trying again in the future. Whether it’s applying for their dream job for a second time, going on another date after being ghosted, or creating a new product in their business and launching it after the last one tanked.
Every experience is an opportunity. The more experiences you have, the more opportunities you create for self-discovery, growth, and success.
So don’t be afraid of rejection. Get acquainted with it. And remember you’re stronger than it.