I Wish Men Realised That Feminism Is For Them Too
Feminism is for men, too.
If only they realised this.
I’m still astounded by the number of men who stick their middle finger up to feminists, and tell us we’re talking bullshit.
Women don’t have legal working rights in many countries.
Bullshit.
Women should be allowed to choose to have an abortion if they want one.
Bullshit.
Women continue to be censored and oppressed all over the world.
Bullshit.
They refuse to believe it. They try to make us think we’re crazy; that it’s all in our heads. They shout and argue, wanting to have the last word, because it makes them feel like they’ve won.
What they don’t realise is, while there is inequality in our world, we are all losers.
Keeping women down and away from their power doesn’t serve women, and it doesn’t serve the men in their lives.
Perhaps on the surface these men believe that it does.
They maintain a sense of power and control.
But it’s false power. And it doesn’t do them any favours; not really.
When a woman is not given an education, or is taught her education comes second to her role as a mother, she is unable to reach her highest potential as a person, and her future financial earning power is significantly stifled.
And when a woman is paid less than her male co-worker for doing the same job, that means less money in the pot for your household. It means you are being collectively screwed by your country. This puts huge pressure on men to earn money, and support their families. A man should not carry this burden alone.
When a woman is taught continually by society that to be feminine means to be small, quiet and polite, the fire and rage within her will continue to build, leading to an explosion of frustration. Who will be in the firing line? Most likely, her partner, and men in general.
When a woman is forced to try and conform to ridiculous beauty standards, she will always feel as though her physical appearance is inadequate.
Where will this show up?
When she’s getting dressed in the morning and feels hideous because the button on her jeans won’t close. When she’s on top of you in bed worrying about the way her stomach jiggles and her breasts droop. And ten years later, when her body softens, her hair starts to grey, and wrinkles start to appear on her forehead, she may feel less than.
When a woman is assaulted or raped, she carries that pain with her for lifetimes. She doesn’t want to, but nevertheless she carries it into all her future relationships. Maybe she isn’t able to be fully present or feel pleasure, though you’re desperate for her to. Maybe she avoids sex because of all the memories that come flooding back to her. It’s likely she will never be able to fully enjoy sex again. And this causes friction in your relationship. There is resistance and fear where there should be openness and love.
Words like emotional, crazy and unhinged are thrown as insults at women, teaching us all that feelings are weak, because women are the weaker sex, right?
This leads to boys learning very quickly that they must not be seen as weak, no matter what the cost may be. They bury their emotions, they don’t talk about their feelings, they run from vulnerability. And this is suffocating.
When a girl grows up hearing comments like, “when you get married,” and “when you have kids,” and “it’s a man’s world,” her world grows a little smaller along with her dreams. And the world suffers. Because who knows what she would have gone on to do, who she would have grown up to be? Maybe she would have found a cure for cancer, or become the next President, or solved world hunger by now.
Who knows?
This is what happens in a world where women are kept down and away from their power.
Nobody wins.
Certainly not women, and not men either.
I wish men realised that feminism is as much for them as it is for us.