As I get older each year, I always get comments from people about my relationship status: single.
In family gatherings, relatives always ask, “do you have a boyfriend?” or “when will you get married?”
For some time, I let those comments bother me.
For some time, I let myself think there was something wrong with me.
For some time, I let myself drown in the thoughts that perhaps I am suited to grow old alone.
Then I wondered, is there something wrong with being alone?
Is there something wrong with pursuing a life different from what people expect of you?
Is there something wrong with working on a career first rather than starting a family?
I have come to realize that my time frame is different from others.
But we are all living on different timelines.
The time in which we achieve each milestone makes us neither ahead of the others nor behind them.
As a girl nearing the end of her 20s, I have always struggled with the sense of not being where I want to be.
I have struggled to live up to society’s notion that by this age, I should have already started a family of my own.
People like me are focused on reaching certain goals. Goals that require sacrifice.
We are excited to take on adventures.
We are curious to try new experiences.
We are yearning to explore the world.
We are eager to experience life in its entirety.
We are looking forward to a life free from the responsibilities attached to being providers. Starting our own family is not really at the top of the list. And that’s okay.
It is okay to walk on a new bridge even if it is not the one people expect you to walk on.
As we walk on this bridge called life, we meet strangers. Some stay in our lives as friends. Others knock really hard on our hearts and take a piece of it. And some just pass us by.
While we are walking on that bridge, we may not meet the one. The one who will take the same journey. The one who will share the same goals. The one who will build the future with us. And it’s okay. It is all right to continue walking, even when you are on your own.
Be strong in your solitude.
It is better to walk alone on the bridge than walk with someone who might push you back or off the edge.
We do not have to create our timelines based on how others set theirs. We may all be moving through life, but we run on different tracks.
We do not have to look for and give ourselves to someone to make the constant nagging stop.
We deserve better than that.
It’s our life, after all. And it’s ours to live.