I think I’ve always needed to open my mouth and speak.
Sometimes in the wrong settings, around people I fear or find intimidating, I can’t speak.
I can’t seem to find confidence in my words. I don’t feel they are listening, shutting me off just like that.
I respect them (sometimes). But when they don’t listen, it makes me less likely to say what I feel, what I see, what I know.
They are too busy speaking their own words, as though they are more important to voice than my own.
But I’ve started to realize that my words are wasted on those individuals.
The reality is, some people truly don’t want to hear anyone’s voice but their own. Perhaps they’ll hear another few like theirs, only like theirs.
They are uncertain about receiving from a voice like mine, or yours, or ours. They find it hard to hear us or lean into the idea that it’s ok to listen.
Maybe it gives them too much pain, too much pause.
I guess that’s why I often can’t speak. I find myself becoming someone else in these moments where they won’t listen.
Like I cannot hold on to who I am and what I need to say, so I say something else or nothing at all.
What kind of leader does that? Doubts their own voice when people aren’t listening? No, we are not doing this negative self-talk anymore…
Maybe this is something bubbling to the surface for me, for all of us. The reminder of persecution from those who won’t receive.
Maybe this has been carried on from lifetimes ago, from generations before us who couldn’t dream of sharing their voice the way we can now. Even when some aren’t listening, others are. I am. You are.
I need to speak from my own wisdom that arrives inside me and bursts out to the surface.
My words are worth being said.
My voice is worthy of being spoken. So is yours.
Not everyone is worthy of hearing from your heart.
Some are too caught up, and it’s ok. Let go. Let them go.
We have to stop trying to be heard—no, loved—by the ones who can’t listen or who just want to control us.
Those people who want to control our voices and what comes out of our mouths from our souls.
That is and will be a product of their own demise and their own issues, the ones who shut it off and shut you out.
You are ok where you are. You are allowed to function and focus within and then open up and reveal all to the world in what you deeply feel needs to be expressed.
You are alive, and you are bridging gaps where they are warranted.
Stop trying to beat down walls that have no foundation. They will crumble anyway, all while you are building your own sturdy structures, taking down your walls the right way.
Let your words be your walls to climb now. Let them hoist you up and tell your story about what you know, see, and feel, and don’t hide anymore.
Be alive, be certain, be ready to deliver.
You are allowed to be who you are and speak the words you want to say.
This is your time.
This is your day.
This is your moment.
It’s only up to you how you want to show up. So show up.
Don’t kiss up and stand back. Show up.
You got this. I love you. I’m proud of you. I see you. I hold you. I hear you.
You are my heroes every single day, and you are giving us all the fuel to voice.
Someone is listening.