The other day I was scrolling through Instagram and came across a reel of a man sitting on the floor in front of a woman. He gently gripped her shoulders and asked, “What’s the one thing you wish someone would tell you right now?”
She looked uncomfortable at first, but he kept asking her. Before she replied, I heard the answer echo inside me: that I’m good enough.
That was her answer too.
It made me think about how many of us are walking around in life waiting to be told we’re good enough. Waiting for someone to confirm that we’re pretty enough, smart enough, ambitious enough.
When will it be enough? When will we reach a point where we are satisfied that we have arrived at our destination of “enough?”
And I know what you’re thinking; we shouldn’t wait for someone else to tell us we’re enough. We shouldn’t be waiting for external validation. But sometimes that’s easier said than done.
From a young age, the people around us make comments that they think are harmless. Passing remarks that stick in our minds. Comments about our weight, appearance, intelligence, and interests. Then we grow up, and the comments keep coming from our peers, colleagues, and partners.
We start collecting these comments as evidence of why we shouldn’t like ourselves. Whenever we want to wallow or feel sorry for ourselves, we open this mental box and find the confirmation we seek. We hear the voice telling us that we’re justified in hating ourselves, that we’ll never be enough.
Well, I have something to say about that.
I am enough. You are enough. We are more than enough.
So often, we get caught up in looking to the future and fixating on what we don’t have.
“Well, I’m still single in my 30s; that means I’m undesirable.”
“I don’t own a home, that means I’m not successful,” and so on.
But the thing is, if you show up for your life every day, the things you want will make their way to you. It has nothing to do with what you think qualifies as “enough.”
Swinging your legs out of bed every day and placing your feet on the ground is enough. Getting dressed, leaving the house, talking to people with genuine warmth in your voice, it’s all enough. There isn’t a benchmark for “enough;” it’s what we make it.
Is it easy to shift this mindset? No.
Am I an expert on this subject? Absolutely not. I’m still a work in progress, and I always will be.
But when it comes down to me and this inner voice telling me I’m not good enough, I don’t fancy her chances.