You know how when you’re with a group of amazing people, their energy can boost your mood, lift your spirits, and leave you feeling energized after the encounter? A sexual energy exchange or transfer follows the same principles because it’s such a powerful and sacred act that requires us to be physically, emotionally, and spiritually vulnerable.
You might not realize it, but every time you have sex with someone, there’s a sexual exchange of energy between you. And this can affect you positively or negatively, depending on the person in question.
I’m not trying to deter you from engaging in casual, carefree sex if that’s what you want. You do you. But I think it’s important that we consider who we choose to share our energy with and be discerning, the same way we choose our friends. Not everyone should have the privilege of sharing your body, your spirit, or your energy.
What is a sexual energy exchange?
The act of sex requires a certain amount of physical energy from both partners. We give each other this energy in the moment to engage in this act together. But whether we’re tuned into it or not, there’s also a spiritual energy exchange occurring. Each person is giving the other some of their spiritual energy and receiving energy back.
This is what sex is all about. At its heart, it’s a spiritual, sacred act. But over time, we have been tricked into believing it’s no more than physical or a means for reproduction.
The more spiritual you are, the more you will be able to feel the circle of energy created when you’re having sex. During orgasm, you may even be able to experience a state of enlightenment due to the explosive power of the energy being exchanged.
Be careful who you sleep with!
The thing about casual sex is it’s never truly causal, at least not on an energetic level. Having sex with someone creates an energy cord between the both of you.
Yes, you have the freedom to choose any sexual partner you like, and you have full sovereignty over your body and what you do with it. That is your birthright. But that doesn’t mean that sex with a stranger is void of meaning and repercussions. Even if you never see that person again, you will receive energy from them, and they will receive energy from you. And unless you cleanse your aura afterward, that energy will remain with you forever.
What’s worse is that when we have sex under the influence of alcohol and/or drugs, our protective bubble is weakened, which means we’re even more susceptible to the other person’s energy.
A negative sexual energy exchange = total havoc!
From a physical point of view, a one-night stand with someone you just met can be fun and full of pleasure, but as you don’t know the person well, you have no idea what kind of energy you’re inviting in on a soul level.
You might notice this in the way you feel the morning after. Irritation, anxiety, depletion, cloudy thoughts, aches and pains, depression, confusion, self-doubt, insecurity, and disconnection are all signs that you may have picked up some negative vibes from the person you slept with. Left uncleansed, this build-up of energy in your body can lead to various imbalances, health issues, and diseases.
A positive sexual energy exchange = sexual healing!
The opposite is a positive sexual energy exchange, which can happen with a stranger (if you get lucky). Still, it’s far more likely to occur in a healthy, meaningful relationship where you know each other on a deeper level. There’s a foundation of trust and respect. Having sex with a loving, positive, joyful person will leave you feeling happy, uplifted, and full of life. When you’re both vibrating positive energy, having sex creates an even sexual energy exchange where both your auric fields are strengthened with love and enlightenment.
The bottom line? Make wise woman choices when deciding who to sleep with! And if you feel starved of sexual pleasure, remember that you can indulge in self-pleasure whenever you want without any risk, mess, or baggage of adding another human into the mix.
Manifesting with your sexual power
Because of the magnitude of the sexual energy transfer during sex, you can learn how to use this sexual energy that is created to manifest, the same way you use your own energy to manifest during a moon ritual or any other kind of spell work. Anyone can learn how to do this.
However, what’s crucial is that you have sex with someone you’re energetically aligned with. This is essential if you want to make magic happen!
To manifest with sexual energy, it’s important to treat sex in a spiritual and sacred way. Cleanse yourself and your space before you begin. Set an intention of what you want to manifest, either separately or together. Your intention could be to do with what you want from the sexual experience, or it could be something completely different and unrelated to sex. Shift how you engage with each other and view the experience through a more spiritual lens. Take time to truly connect with each other on a deep level.
If you’re having sex while on your period, you can engage in a sacred blood ritual with your partner. FYI, your manifestation powers are heightened during this time because of the sheer power of your blood.
How to protect your energy next time you have sex
I’ve encouraged you in this post to be discerning with who you sleep with. However, if you enjoy “casual” sex, or you’re sleeping with someone you’ve been dating for a while for the first time, and you want to know how to protect your energy, here’s what you need to know.
1. Strengthen your protective bubble to prevent a negative sexual exchange of energy
One of the best ways to protect yourself against anything (a negative person, bad luck, sickness, or a negative sexual energy exchange) is to visualize a protective bubble forming around you.
You can do this by sitting the same way you would when meditating. Get comfy, close your eyes, and visualize your whole body filling with pure white light. Next, imagine a sphere or bubble forming around you, keeping harmful vibrations and people away from your aura.
2. Do an energetic cleanse
One of the best things you can do to reduce the chances of exchanging negative energy is to energetically cleanse yourselves before (and after) having sex. You can do this by taking a bath, burning herbs, working with crystals, or doing a candle ceremony. I’ll cover how to do this in more detail later in this post.
3. Voice what you want and need
A one-night stand is usually about having fun, seeking pleasure, and having a new experience, and there’s no shame in that. We all deserve this.
But when you’re having sex with someone who barely knows you and your body, you’ve got to communicate what you’re looking for. And if you don’t know what you want, try yoni mapping to find out.
Once you do know, speak up. Because this is the only way to get what you want from the experience, reduce your chances of absorbing negative energy, and wake up the next morning feeling awful.
4. Communicate your boundaries
Healthy, consensual sex is about setting boundaries and communicating these to your partner. We all have certain things we don’t want to do in the bedroom, and that’s okay. Tell the person in question what your “hard no’s” are, and ask them what they love and want to explore during sex together.
Unfortunately, there’s a lot of male-produced pornography that is violent and degrading towards women, which skews both men’s and women’s ideas about what sex is meant to be like and what is and isn’t okay.
I want you to know that you have every right to not be okay with something. Who gives a fuck if “everyone is doing it”? You’re not everyone, so don’t force yourself or let yourself be manipulated into doing anything you don’t want to do.
In fact, as soon as you notice someone is trying to get you to cross your own boundaries even though you’ve been clear, it’s a sign that this person doesn’t respect you. I’d encourage you to walk away.
5. Give yourself permission to have fun and explore
Let yourself be fully present in the moment. Try new things if you want to. Experiment. Be silly. Just make sure you keep talking to each other, so there are no unexpected surprises or kicks to the face when you change positions!
6. Have an exit strategy
You don’t want to be the person who kicks someone out of bed at 3AM! At the same time, it’s totally understandable if you don’t want to spend the night with someone after sex or if you want to leave early in the morning. So make sure you talk about it before you end up in bed together.
Your exit strategy could be that you need to be up early in the morning to walk your dog or head out of town to visit a friend. Just have something in mind, so the situation isn’t dragged out longer than you want it to be.
7. Check in with yourself the morning after
If you feel anxious, down, insecure, stressed, or irritated the following morning, unless something else is happening that you know is causing this, take it as a sign that sexual encounters like this might not work for you. Even if you had fun in the moment and orgasmed, you’ve got to start taking a more holistic view of sex and considering how it’s affecting you on all levels.
Feeling triggered out of the blue is a sign that you’ve had a negative sexual energy exchange. The choices you make from here are up to you. What would be the most loving thing to do for yourself? You might want to take some time to journal when you feel this way and find a resolution for moving forward.
How to perform an energetic cleanse after sex
When we get physically dirty, we take a shower to clean ourselves. If we don’t, we’ll get dirtier and smellier until we become a breeding ground for bacteria and viruses.
The same is true on an energetic level; we just don’t talk about it enough! If our energy gets polluted, this will continue to build and affect our aura (and even cause disease) over time. This is why it’s essential to regularly cleanse ourselves of this energy.
Here are some ways to do it.
Take a salt bath
Water is super cleansing for humans, even more so if you have a lot of water signs in your birth chart like I do. Next time you want to cleanse yourself after an iffy sexual energy exchange, run yourself a blissful bath!
Add a blend of Epsom salts and your favorite essential oils, herbs, and flowers, and soak in the tub for at least 20 minutes. As you lie in the water, imagine all your anxieties, stressors, and fears being washed away, leaving you nourished and restored. You can even set a specific intention and meditate on this while you relax.
Check out this post for more info on how to have a cleansing bath ritual.
Burn some sage
Burning sage, palo santo, or other herbs of your choice is a great way to clear away stagnant, negative energy. That’s why it’s common to do this before any kind of ritual.
Ensure your windows and doors are open before you start so the bad energy has somewhere to go. Once you’ve lighted your herb bundle, waft it around your whole body, starting at the crown of your head and going down to your feet.
Cut the cord
You might have heard of meditations that involve visualizing yourself being linked to someone via a physical cord or rope and imagining that cord severed. This is known as “cutting the cord” and can really help separate you from someone’s energy field, including their thoughts, feelings, desires, etc. This is vital if you want to heal after a breakup, reclaim your power and move on.
You can add whatever you like to this cleansing ritual. Light a candle, burn some sage, grab a piece of rope or string, and physically cut it to symbolize the cord between you and this person being cut for good. Alternatively, you can simply visualize the cord being cut during meditation.
Another simple way to cleanse your aura after a sexual energy exchange is to meditate. There are so many benefits of meditation, one of which is that it strengthens our aura.
Do a simple white light meditation like I briefly described earlier. Visualize your fears, anxieties, and unease, leaving your body as black light. Next, visualize a flood of white light entering your body through the crown of your head and filling your entire body until you are pure, bright white light.
A sexual energy exchange is always powerful, so be discerning!
Remember that even if you do everything you can to protect your energy before sex and cleanse your aura after sex, you will still be in a vulnerable state during sex. This is unavoidable. And sexual energy is incredibly powerful. So my message to you is to be discerning with who you allow into your bed, your body, and your energetic field. Not everyone deserves to be in this sacred space with you. Tune into your intuition and make wise choices that serve the woman you’re becoming.
Have you ever been aware of a positive or negative sexual energy exchange after having sex, whether it was casual or in a relationship? I’d love for you to share your experiences with me below.